If I could go back in time and meet my high school self, I would smack myself.... HARD. Why you might ask? Because throughout my school career I focused solely on the one thing I thought i wanted to do with my life, music, and refused to see that I was, in fact, making myself miserable trying to continue in an area where I had lost all passion to work in.
Music was one of the first areas that I experienced in the field of the arts. I thought it was the coolest thing that tiny little me could pick up this huge double bass and produce music, and all of my family wanted me to choose a smaller instrument which made me love it more. It proved I was strong, creative.... and it proved that I was rebellious, so therefore, it was perfect. So at the young age of 10 I convinced myself that playing that bass would be what I did with my life.... It was a year later when I discovered my desire to improve my art, so it was delegated as a hobby (after all, I already had my future profession).
Fast forward a decade, through years of practice, private lessons, school orchestras, youth orchestras, band camps, tours, and even two years of being selected to play in prestigious concert with the Utah Symphony Orchestra (whose first chair bassist was my private instructor).... and I hated playing. The years had slowly worn down any and all desire to continue as a musician, but I no longer knew how to escape. I had taken no classes in school that could have convinced me to pursue a different career.... I never even took a single art class... so I entered college as a Music Preformance Major, with a scholarship for playing my bass.
......... I failed miserably.
My major required over 19 credit hours a semester in order to graduate in target in five years..... including several required course that were worth ZERO credits and private lessons at 4:15 in the morning. My head swam every day in Music theory as I tried to learn the rules of every era of music... and I went toe to toe with the piano teacher that thought Piano 1 should be filled with people who already knew how to play piano... I failed every class that gave a grade and walked out with a 1.8 gpa and no desire to touch an instrument again.
I went home, joined the work force.... and started drawing. So far I have taken three years off from college, and I am finally ready to go back. In the three years I have seriously tried many of the things I didn't touch near enough in high school. I draw, I practice swordsplay, I write, I leaned how to open my own business, I found things that inspire and motivate me... things that make me happy. I even started playing the bass again, as a hobby this time. I know where I want my life to head, paths I can take to make myself happy..... now I want to pursue them.
But I could have avoided most the mess (the horrible GPA, loss of finacial aid, the aimless wandering for years, the hate of playing an instrument) if I had tried more in high school. But that is in the past.... and I have to keep going with the one life I have. I'll go back to school major in animation, or even comic design. I'll travel the world.... and I'll remember that my first choice doesn't HAVE to be the one I stick with.
Listening to: Tricks up my sleeve
Reading: The Blood of Olympus